Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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