It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
