at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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