I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
