What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
