dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize