i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
