They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
