I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
