Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
