Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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