I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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