you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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