i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
