don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
