my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
