Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
