I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
