It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
