WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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