All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
