Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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