it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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