It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
