I want to make a zoo with you.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You need a sexual gate keeper
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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