i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
