What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize