just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my shit smells like andre
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i believe in u and ur pee
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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