she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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