so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
