you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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