Fuck appropriateness.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
