your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
