she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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