Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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