In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
