So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
