Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize