I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You took a bar mat shot.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize