There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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