Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
please come you make the beer taste better
there was a trapeze. enough said
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
