He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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