So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
