I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
