You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
NoShamevember. You game?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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