youre lurking in front of me
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
