I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
