1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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