the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
