I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
