9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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