And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Please, let me fuck your mom
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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