Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
