I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
