a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
