Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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