he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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