I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
