He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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