you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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