i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
