i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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