Pants 0. Shit 1.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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