I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
